The Sordid Tale of Boogersnatch and Cootergrundle.

I know you have been waiting for it all day, but here is my idea for a broadway show:

An old mink coat rises up off the ground. It has just been thrown away by its owner Mrs. Tightass, because it was so old. Broken and defeated, Boogersnatch (the name of the coat) wanders through the isolated streets in the wee hours of the morning. While wandering, Boogersnatch accidentally falls into a black hole and he ends up being transported to the outter reaches of space. Boogersnatch is now aimlessly floating, with no control over his direction, when, to his surprise he reaches the end of the universe and is sucked through the wall by what appears to be a giant blow dryer.
On the other side of this wall, Boogersnatch finds a whole new world. In this parallel universe, coats wear people! Because the rules of this new universe are all crazy, Boogersnatch figures out that he is actually naked. So while he is running away from the cops who are trying to arrest him for public indecency, he runs into an adorable sable coat with fox trimmings, who was wearing a latino woman. Apparently Latinos make the best coats, followed by native americans, then black people, then white people, and so on, and at the very end are chinese people. They are too short and skinny to provide any warmth. And in the coat universe it is very cold.
Well Boogersnatch falls madly in love with Cootergrundle (the name of the sable coat with fox trimmings)while she is helping him find something to wear. However, It turns out that this new universe has ruined its environment and killed all the humans. So there are no more coats! Boogersnatch then comes up with a wonderful idea; The will all go back to the first universe and kill all the humans and make coats out of them. Boogersnatch explains that it will be really easy to kill all the humans because the coats can just smother them to death.
The coats then prepare to journey to the first universe and Boogersnatch asks Cootergrundle to marry him. She accepts and Boogersnatch tells her he is pregnant with their love baby and the two rejoice. Then all the coats go to the next universe and kill most of the humans by smothering them to death, except for a few witch they decide to keep on the farm. This whole incident turns out to be a million years ago, and the "farm" is actually the earth. And what we think is "God" is actually just Boogersnatch and Cootergrudel's love child, Snuchplasker. And when we die we all actually just end up becoming coats.


Best musical ever.