How To Be Awesome: Lesson 4, Just Do It

Please don't sue me nike, its not like I have any money anyways. But Nike does have a pretty awesome slogan, "Just Do It." It's very similar to the Barney Stinson quote for today:

Look, our forefathers died for the "pursuit of happiness," okay? Not for the "sit around and wait of happiness." Now if you want, we can go to the same bar, drink the same beer, talk to the same people every day or you can lick the Liberty Bell. You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it.

I feel as though this quote doesn't need a lot of elaborating, it's pretty self evident in its meaning. What this quote does need is an awesome story behind it that is not relevant at all. And here I go:

Yesterday I decided to walk to Cancun, and since I can run at the speed of light, the walk from College Park to Cancun only took .43 hours. That number is from a factual equation that I just made up in my head. Anyways, while I was in Cancun, I got to thinking, "Am I just gonna sit around Cancun and drink Margaritas for the rest of my life?" I will admit, there are worse situations, but I need to LIVE MY LIFE! So I decided the best idea would be for me to go to Siberia. I figure out there, the men will LOVE a chick with the name Anastasia. While I am in Siberia though I realize that the parkas really don't do much for my figure, so I SNOW SUIT UP, but you really can't wear stilettos in the snow. I decided to test my luck with my stilettos though, so I ended up duck taping them to a pair of tennis rackets to try and make some awesome snow shoes.

Then I went hunting and I killed a polar bear and a panda and a kangaroo with my bare hands, and since I like my meat rare I decided to just eat my feast there in my snow. BUT THEN MY SNOW SHOE BROKE. Can you believe it? Little old me stuck out in the middle of Siberia with only a polar bear, a panda, and a kangaroo to eat. Well, I used my geniousness to make a temporary shelter by combining the skins of those three animals. But then an avalanche came and trapped me in my shelter, it was awful. I was stuck there for 10 weeks before I realized that I was faster than the speed of light and I ran out of there. I ran all the way to Milan, where I was spotted on the street by Versace and she said my look was "Mountain Chic" and I would be the inspiration for her winter line.

Moral of the story: Don't go to Siberia unless you have a super power.