Don't mess with Ana

So in the mornings I always struggle with watery eyes. Only it doesn't look like watery eyes, it looks like I am crying. I DO NOT CRY. I DO NOT CRY. Just so we are all clear here: I DO NOT CRY.

Friends, I ask you? When have you ever seen me cry? Never? That's right! Because, I DO NOT CRY. Maybe I will get a little teary-eyed when I am watching a particularly sad movie, like Bolt, but I DO NOT CRY over stuff that happens in my own life.

Crying makes you weak and inferior. You are exposing your weak side, and you no longer have an edge.

Now don't get me wrong, I can fake cry on command, or at least I used to be able to. I haven't needed to use that manipulation tactic in years. But it is a good one to get out of moving violations.

Earlier today while waiting for the metro I began to wipe my eyes because the were watering and a man came up to me and asked me why I was crying. I was truly offended. I don't think someone has said something that offensive to me in years. I became so incredibly infuriated that I froze like a deer in the headlights. I couldn't think of anything to say, but rage was bubbling up inside me and I became my very own Mt. Vesuvius. I didn't know what my next move was going to be but I knew I had to seek revenge for this humiliation.

As he was staring at me, waiting for a response, a train pulls up to the plat form. Here is my chance. I allow him to stand in front of me as we are waiting for the doors to open, carefully I am planning my attack. Then, just as the doors open, I assert my dominance all over his stupid face by running past him, stepping on his toe, and taking the last seat.

Wooo, I showed that betch. Don't mess with Ana.

Goosey GOose

Goose GOose Says: "Perple ern der mertro cern sterll her ernd serr errou ervern whern yer wering herderphones. Ser terk ert ferm sermern wher lerned der herd wer, perkering yer nerse ernd dern tering ter werp ert ern sermern errou jerst cerrd er 'fert bertch' ers nert erker. Sher herd errou, ern nerw derts her hernd erntering der ner fler zerne of yer ferce."

Translation: "People on the metro can still hear and see you even when you're wearing headphones. So take it from someone who learned the hard way, picking your nose and then trying to wipe it on someone you just called a 'fat bitch' is not okay. She heard you, and now that's her hand entering the no fly zone of your face."