Tree of Codes

So Jonathan Safran Foer is one of my favorite Authors of all time. He wrote "Everything is Illuminated" and "Extrememly Loud and Incredibly Close" which were just stunning works of fiction. He also wrote "Eating Animals" but I refused to read that because, well, its about how you should be a vegatarian or something and I just love myself some rare steak wayyy too much for that.
Anyways the man is brilliant and one of the ways he proves his brilliance is in his new book "Tree of Codes." In this book the man seriously went through his favorite book "The Street of Crocodiles" By Bruno Schulz and cut out words or letters to create his own story. Insane, right????

In case I didn't explain what I meant very well below is the product description on Amazon:

"Tree of Codes, is a haunting new story by best-selling American writer, Jonathan Safran Foer.

With a different die-cut on every page, Tree of Codes explores previously unchartered literary territory. Initially deemed impossible to make, the book is a first - as much a sculptural object as it is a work of masterful storytelling.

Inspired to exhume a new story from an existing text, Jonathan Safran Foer has taken his “favourite” book, The Street of Crocodiles by Polish-Jewish writer Bruno Schulz and used it as a canvas, cutting into and out of the pages, to arrive at an original new story told in Safran Foer’s own acclaimed voice.

Tree of Codes is the story of ‘an enormous last day of life’. As one character’s life is chased to extinction, Safran Foer multi-layers the story with immense, anxious, at times disorientating imagery, crossing both a sense of time and place, making the story of one person’s last day everyone’s story.

The book has a broad appeal: to both literary audiences, intrigued by Safran Foer's new way of writing and to design and art audiences who will revel in the book's remarkable and unique visual experience."

Here is a picture of what it looks like inside:

Look at how crazy that looks. Think about that. That would be hard as balls to write a book like that. To honor Safran Foer, I am going to attempt to do something similar.

Above is a screen shot of a very failed attempt to do what Safran Foer did. I took a quote from my favorite book, "Wuthering Heights," and I attempted to make a sentence from it. All I ended up putting together was:

"A ho who maps the spot to arrest imagrants is the least fortunate con with her men since now her regulars are noted for the police."

I'm not even sure that makes sense, and I know "imagrants" isn't spelled right (not that this blog seems to care very much about spelling in the first place) and that stupid sentence took me almost 20 minutes to put together! It was REALLY difficult. I think I would kill myself if I had to write a whole book like that.

You think I am being lame? Well go ahead, you try it. Tell me what you get. Don't be surprised when you realize that you would rather be eating donkey shit.

So back to the point of this post, Mother, please buy me this book.