The Gay Mecca?

Now, I may be oblivious to most of the world and current events but I do know about the really important stuff. Or so I thought. This morning, while reading this article, I found out some extremely important information. That Palm Springs was a gay mecca. I thought it was San Francisco. Here I have been thinking about how awesome it would be to go to San Francisco and thinking about all the fun I could have with the gay men there when I should have been planning a trip to Palm Springs!

I don't want to sound like I am being sexist, or whatever the word is that is against the gays (maybe gayist? Note the above admission about being oblivious to the world), but here in this blog I make rash generalizations about every little colorful niche. That means asians, black people, white people, indians and even the gays are going to be lumped into my little stereotypical view of them. Don't worry, it's a positive one. This is why I feel the need to go to Palm Springs now, I miss my gay friends from dancing. The ones who would hold me and tell me how pretty I was constantly and I never had to worry about them hitting on me. They were also brutally honest and would tell me if the outfit I was wearing was just not working.

The other day I was getting ready to go out with this new guy I have been seeing and I ask Cat if I should curl my hair, she says "Idk." I then ask my straight friend Mike if I should curl my hair and he says it doesn't matter. Then later on, after it was to late to do something about it, the douche tells me I should have curled my hair. I know he was joking, but if he had been gay, or if I had a gay friend around, they would have told me straight up what I should have done with my hair. Gay men always know what will look the best.

This is excepting the Gay Couple With Out Kids (GCWOKs) on "How I Met Your Mother" who told Ted that he could rock the red cowboy boots. He couldn't.

Above: Apparently the only GCWOKs without taste since they are in the process of approving Ted's ridiculous cowboy boots.

Plus, if I have learned anything from "Moulin Rouge" it's that if you have a gay friend who wears sparkly things, he will always be there to save you from rape or falling to your death from bronchitis.

Now you may look at this pic and think, "Ok he is creepy looking, but could he really save my ass?" Well check out this next pic.

That's right, he is a badass who has an eye on your ass in a totally platonic way.

And as creepy as that castle was, Dr. Furter looked like he would be tons of fun in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."

I mean, come on, he was so much fun apparently Lady Gaga took all her make up tips from him.

And despite most of my knowledge about gays stemming from pop culture stereotypes, I still feel as though I could connect with them during their harder times. I totally understood what Hedwig was going through in "Hedwig and the Angry Inch."

It's really difficult to walk through a crowded bar in those kinds of wings. Why, when I went out last Saturday I couldn't even make it through the door of the bar with my wings. I had to stand outside the whole night. It's really hard. And they shouldn't discriminate against those with fashion sense by building such small door frames! I got you Hedwig, I got you.

I miss my gays, enough that I now know my next vacation plans involve me going to Palm Springs. Even though I am not sure where that place is. I know that it is either in California or the East Coast's lamer version of California, Florida. I am going to put my money on California though because I don't think that the gays would want to deal with all the old people in Florida. And yes, I am quite aware that it is only one Google search away to figure out the location of this city. But does it really matter which coast the Gay Mecca is on? I think not.

I do want to say in all seriousness though: Should I have curled my hair before I went out with that guy? Do guys like curly or straight hair better? Do guys even notice hair?

Also, if you are a gay guy looking for a new bff, hit me up. We can go to a rave or something. I have never been to one of those before. I'll even buy a day-glo bra for it.