"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad."
- Salvador Dali (1904-1989)






Friday, May 7, 2010

Mother: Don't read this post.

Last night it occurred to my friends and I that if you simply replace the word "world" with the word "vaj" in the song "A Whole New World" the song becomes incredibly sexual. So I took the liberty of posting the revised version below. You will be surprised at exactly how little I had to change to make it this incredibly inappropriate. My favorite part is (and I seriously had to change none of this) when they say "Take you wonder by wonder/ Over, sideways and under/ On a magic carpet ride."

Girl:
I can show you my vaj
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, drunk man, now when did
You last let your deck decide?

I can open your legs
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new vaj
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

Boy: A whole new vaj
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way down here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new vaj with you

Girl: Now I'm on a whole new deck with you

Boy: Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless carpet ride

Boy: A whole new vaj
Girl: Don't you dare close your eyes
Boy: A hundred thousand things to see
Girl: Hold your breath - it gets better
Boy: I'm like a shooting star
I've cum so far
I can't go back to where I used to be
Girl: A whole new vaj
Boy: Every move a surprise
Girl: With new positions to do
Boy: Every moment gets better
Girl: I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new vaj with you

Girl:A whole new vaj
Boy: A whole new vaj
Girl:That's where we'll be
Boy: That's where we'll be
Girl: A thrilling chase
Boy: A wondrous place
Girl: For you and me

3 comments:

  1. it's incredible!!

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  2. Too late. I'm already so used to you. You were the kid who at three would wait until it got quiet at the Thanksgiving table and then shout out "UTERUS!"

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  3. hahaha. I love that there is plenty of stuff goin on in CP...yaknow, like the senior bar crawl, and stuff. Yet, we decide that the best use of our time while sitting at cornerstone is to bastardize disney songs :) No wonder SO many people come talk to us. (ha)

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