Ana's Top Ten Most Disgusting or Strange Pick-up Lines That DID NOT Actually Deter the Man.

Many of those who know me are aware of my compulsive lying. Now, I don't do this to just anyone, mostly just men I meet at the bar. I feel a deep urge to just make up the most ridiculous lies I can, or I say the most ridiculous things I can. I really enjoy pushing it as far as I can possibly go and see how much a man will take. In College Park it is especially funny because men will deal with just about anything to get laid.

So with that bit of background information, I introduce "Ana's Top Ten Most Disgusting or Strange Pick-up Lines That DID NOT Actually Deter the Man." (Yes, I hate to admit it, but these lines sometimes actually made men become MORE interested in me.)

10. "Our names are Anastasia and Katrina and we are Russian twins."
Ok so you might say, "Well men LOVE twins why is this so strange?" The strangeness mostly has to do with the fact that this was what I would tell men FROM EUROPE about Cat and I while we clearly had only American accents. Yet, they still seemed to believe us. Not to mention that I still don't really see much of a resemblance between Cat and I.

9. "You look like you just walked out of a 'Lord of the Gays' parade."
It was really the shirt he was wearing. But this one goes so low on the list because I think that most men might try harder to actually change my mind after I would say this to them.

8."I'm a Mexican Chicken."
Oh this one is an inside joke, but it involves a sombrero, the cluck-u chicken man, and many cervezas.

7. "Look I really physically do not have a cellphone"
This man COULD NOT take a hint.

6. "blah-haha-blugh-hem"
That was the sound of me vomiting. This is one of the most iconic of all my anecdotes, but it is ranked so low because it actually wasn't a pick up line. Basically I was seeing this guy (we will call him Wings because of the intense amount of hair on his back and the manner in which this hair was shaped) and when he asked me to be his girlfriend I vomited all over his face. No, I wasn't very drunk at all. Yes, being his girlfriend seemed that disgusting to me. Surprisingly he continued to try and date me. I had to end it though after he took me to his away weekend and I saw him with his shirt off for the first time.

5. "How do you feel about Light-saber lava? I really only date men who are world wide champions."
Now this line I actually use pretty frequently. You see it does two things, it filters out the jocks and jerks while it draws in the nerds and geeks. Yes, I am proud to admit that I am a nerd and geek lover. The dorkier the better. So while to some men they find this a really strange thing to say, other men think that it is the hottest thing I could ever say. But regardless of drawing in men, I really, truly do refuse to date anyone who won't play light-saber lava with me. It is truly and deeply my favorite sport.

4. "I am actually only 14, I just hit puberty really early."
This one sometimes has an unexpected effect. When men become more interested in me after I say this I get a little creeped out.

3. "The smell of vomit is such a turn on."
I use this one at Santa Fe in CP a lot. For some unknown and appalling reason that bar ALWAYS smells like vomit. So when a man approached me in Fe the other night I had the PERFECT opportunity to send him running. Only he really didn't seemed that disturbed by what I had just said.

2. "I polished these buttons with my own urine."
I really don't know what possessed me to say this, especially since I liked the guy I was talking to. Maybe I just have the weirdest sense of humor. But he actually thought that that was the most hysterical thing ever.

1. "I am actually still a man and I am just waiting on my sex change operation."
I really thought that this would be the most offensive thing I could possibly say to a guy at Cornerstone, but for GOD knows why he actually offered to buy me a drink. This just goes to show you HOW desperate men are to get their decks slippery when wet.