If I were homeless...

So I know that in these pressing times many people sit and think about what they would do if they were suddenly to have less money. If I were to suddenly have less money it would mean that I would be forced to become homeless because I barely make enough to live in an apartment right now.

Here is my plans if I became homeless:

I would ask my parents to give me my car again. I would then live out of this car. For food I would get one of those adapters that plugs in to your cigarette lighter and then has a regular looking power outlet on the other end. I would then plug a hot plate into this and proceed to use the hot plate to heat up my food, aka cans of soup. And not the expensive kind, just the regular old campbells.

OR this kind:

I would park my car overnight by bars in different areas so that cops would not bother me while I was sleeping. No one would assume I was homeless, instead they would assume that I was trying to sleep my drunkeness off. During the day I would keep my car in various neighborhoods for free parking.

I would join a gym, but a cheap one like the YMCA, but this is only if the place where I worked didn't have one. My thought on this is that people are not really weirded out if you spend upwards of 5 hours a day at a gym, they think you just really like to work out. You can also use said gym to shower and you can rifle through the lost and found. Most gyms have things like blow dryers and hairspray set out too so you wouldn't need to waste money on those items. A gym also has t.v.s to watch your faveorite programming. Plus a gym is considerably less expensive than an apartment.

Also, you can work on getting a hot bod at that gym which would help with my next plan.

I would be a huge whore if I was homeless. I wouldn't sleep with a whole bunch of men, but I sure would go home with just about anyone, just so I could have the chance to sleep in a real bed. Hey! He might even take me out to breakfast the next morning and free food! Yay!

I would still try to have an office job, and so I would still have an income of sorts. This style of living I have laid out is not for having absolutely no $$, but for having less than $500 a month.

Or, I could just move back in with my parents. But they don't have HBO.