Quarter Life Crisis

Lately I have been freaking out about my life. I have realized that I can no longer continue with this sould sucking job and be a sane person. I sit all alone all day long, completely devoid of human contact while working on projects that I for the most part don't understand.

Yes, I understand that I am lucky I have a job in this economy. But honestly, I would be happier being a waitress or hostess. This is why I have decided I need to join the PeaceCorps. Thats right, I NEED to join it.

I need a life of adventure and since most cops are jerks and the military puts women in desk jobs, the PeaceCorps feels like it is my only option. I want to get dropped off in the middle of the jungle somewhere. I want to live for two years in a place with no technology. I want to have to struggle to live in the elements. I need this.

I am having a quarter-life crisis. I am freaking out about my future. I never wanted a desk job, and I will never be happy working in one for the rest of my life.

This whole thing has made me realize how lucky I am that none of my relationships have ever worked out. Not only that but every guy I have ever dated has become extremely unredateable after we have broken up (Aaron = weird neo-nazi man with a shaved head, Eric = complete loser who didn't get a job). Because of this I can go and just completely change my life style without anyone holding me back. I am independant and that is about the biggest confidence booster I can think of.

So if this PeaceCorps thing doesn't work out because I don't get in or something I really don't know what I will do. I am thinking I will apply for long term volunteering for Habitat for Humanity which is kind of similar. And if I don't get into that? I guess I keep applying to similar programs until someone takes me.

If I am persistant enough I will eventually get in somewhere.