If I was a billionaire...

Just like most people, and in the words of a true poet, I want to be a billionare so fucking bad. Mostly for all of the completely useless shit I could buy. I dream and dream about the stables full of horses with narwhal horns glued to their heads that I would have and a bowling ally where humans are pins and you put yourself in a big ball and run at them and try to knock them down. I know, I do dream big. So right now I am about to make a list of all the crap I would buy if I had billions of dollars.

1. Tanks to blow up.
OK, I know usually my lists are longer, but this is what I want above all else. Apparently in the U.K., when they buy too much of something for the military, they remove the weapons and sell it to the civillians. So you can buy a tank for pretty cheap. And buy cheap I mean like $40,000+. Which is cheaper than I thought an acual tank would be. I don't know, but for some reason tanks aren't that bad. And they are perfectly legal to own. So I would buy a tank (or two, or three) and a giant field and place the tank in the field. I'm talking a really big field though, like bigger than a football stadium.
Then I would have to make a bunker of sorts for myself that would probably cost a good amount of money if I really wanted it to be safe.
At this point I would have to undergo severe weapons training so that I coul get a class a Class 2 gun permit. This is very important as it would allow me to purchase a M134 General Electric Minigun. Which, in case you were wondering, looks like this:

This gun can shoot 2,000 to 6,000 rounds a minute and 166 times per second. And you can pretty much only afford to own one if you are a billionare because it costs $400,000 or more to begin with and the ammo is incredibly expensive. 166 shots, which is one second, costs about $60. Here is the worst part about it though, there are only about 10 of them in civilian hands, and there will never be more. So you have to seek out who ever owns these things and then try to buy it off of them. Most people wouldn't find "I need it for my tank explosion expeirement" a compelling argument. So I would need to pay a very high amount for it.
Now I would have to contruct some thermite, which is surprisingly cheap. Its about 2 parts rust to 1 part aluminum shavings in weight and about half and half in volume. It is also the hottest burning substance on earth, reaching up to temperatures that are about half of the temperature of the sun. Also, it's totally legal because the government can't tell you that you can't have aluminum and rust. Once I made this I would set it inside the tank. One down fall about thermite is that it is hard to set on fire because it needs a really hot fire to start it. The only readily available substance that burns hot enough is magnesium. So I would place a bunch of thermite in the tank and ring it with magnesium.
It's really starting to come together guys. Listen for my next highly legal step. I would order tannerite and just coat the outside of the tank in it. Tannerite is a biannary explosive compound so there would be the step of mixing the two harmless on their own, but explosive together compounds. You can buy this from contruction company distributors and they don't regulate it so you can get as much as you need.
The thing about tannerite is that once the two compounds mix, it is highly explosive. I mean a single gun shot and it will go up in flames. - Now see why the mini gun is important.
I coat the tank, that is filled with thermite and magnesium, in tannerite and then I stand in my bunker and shoot at the tank with my mini gun. The tannerite will explode and the out side of the tank will be in flames, this will cause the magnesium to ignite and therefore the thermite to ignite and the whole thing will result in an enormous explosion that I will be glad I built my bunker for.

If I had a billion dollars I would do this, I would do this every single week. It would be so. very. badass.